......as a kid I liked comics. All kinds of comics. Sunday newspaper comics(color), the black and white comics during the week. All the cartoons, you name it I loved it. I loved live action too. Ultraman and Godzilla on Channel 48 in Philly. Kung fu, karate flicks, ninjas and bald headed monks who were martial art masters. The whole shebang. My Mother had old photos of me with a towel around my neck pretending to be Superman and I can vividly remember perching on coffee tables and trying to stick to walls unsuccessfully like Spiderman. Since I loved to read, my Mother bought me all kinds of comic books. Marvel, DC even Archie. I didn't care, I loved them all equally. Then one day she bought me a Batman comic book. Now, of course I was already in love with Adam West and Burt Ward as Batman and Robin. Watching them "bam" and "pow" their way through evildoers like the Penguin and Joker. And of course I tuned in next week, same bat time same bat channel. But I knew very little about Batman until I started reading him. It wasn't Batman I immediately identified with in the books. It was a young Bruce Wayne who witnessed his parents murdered. My Mother and Father fought constantly, every night in bed under the covers I listened as bitter arguments murdered their marriage. By 9 I was a kid shellshocked by divorce. I retreated into Gotham. Surprisingly Gotham and it's villains didn't scare me. It was a dark shadowy place with cruel people, but Gotham had what I felt I was missing. A hero. A hero who wasn't afraid of the shadows, rather he thrived in them.....and he had no problem HURTING bad guys. Hurting them bad, brutally, but not killing them. Rather promising to return and inflict more pain if needed. I....I identified with that kind of anger mixed with grief. The desire to hurt someone to feel better. But I couldn't I was helpless. But here was a guy who represented hope for me. See, I didn't have to get bit by a radioactive spider, or be born with an X gene to get satisfaction. Batman was someone a kid could realistically dream about being. Lift weights, learn martial arts...kick ass. I hadn't figured out the billionaire part or how to buy a Batmobile, but that stuff was secondary. I wanted to kick ass....I wanted to hurt the bad guys (I wouldn't dare hurt my parents, although honestly it was their fault in my mind) but definitely bad guys. I wasn't even certain what constituted a "bad guy" nor care. I just wanted...I don't know what I wanted...I just wanted to get outside myself. As I grew to an adult, and Batman grew in popularity. TV shows...movies, cartoons. I was there for it all. After all, he is my childhood hero. But I've grown now, and made peace with my past and my childhood. Sadly poor Master Wayne never will. He shall forever patrol Gotham dishing out pain, trying to stop the hurt.
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2 comments:
I absolutely enjoyed the read. I related to the Nostalgia, like you and many others from our Generation,I too was a child of divorced parents.
My personal escape was art. Drawing to be exact. I drew everything. I replicated pages from my comics. I was into Marvel comics. The older the better. I loved the artwork more than the storyline. I wasn't into sports much. So I drew. And so did my best friend Robby. He was in a similar situation as we were. His parents stayed married during his childhood but divorced later on in life. His dad never worked and he stayed home Smoking weed all day while his moms worked. Thanks for the read and I am looking forward to the next article.
~Jimmy Raket~
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